Stop focusing on Being a Leader

Your team doesn’t need more leadership.
They don’t need you to work harder or focus more on leadership.

Sometimes they need you to actually manage them.

I once had a production supervisor tell me that her team missed a critical safety deadline because she was “trying to empower them to own the solution.” Meanwhile, three people were working with faulty equipment because she thought stepping in would be seen as “micromanaging.”

This is what the $366-billion leadership industry has created: a generation of supervisors so afraid of being labeled “controlling” that they’ve abandoned the very skills their teams desperately need.

Here’s the truth I don’t hear anyone saying out loud:
Sometimes the most leadership thing you can do is to stop leading and start managing.

The False Dichotomy That’s Breaking Teams

Somewhere along the way, the leadership industry accidentally sold us a lie:

• Leadership = good

• Management = bad

You’ve heard it before:

“Leaders inspire. Managers control.”
“Managers tell people what to do. Leaders empower.”

It sounds great on a keynote stage.
It falls apart on the shop floor, in the office, and in real day to day operations.

This false dichotomy has created paralysis in real supervisors, the people who know something needs to be addressed but hesitate because they don’t want to “do it wrong.” They over-facilitate when clarity is needed. They over-coach when decisiveness is required. They wait when action is demanded.

Here’s my contrarian position:

Leadership and management aren’t competing philosophies.
They’re two essential tools.

The problem isn’t choosing one over the other.
The problem is not knowing when to use which.

And the leadership-only approach?
It’s quietly creating dysfunction everywhere.

But it gets worse when supervisors try to lead everything.

The Three Failure Patterns of “Leadership-Only” Supervisors

Pattern 1: Empowerment Paralysis

There are moments that require immediate direction:

• Safety issues

• Compliance risks

• Client emergencies

• Operational breakdowns

But instead of stepping in, the leadership-only supervisor says,
“What do you think we should do?”

That question isn’t empowering in a crisis.
It’s abdication.

“Letting them figure it out” sounds noble until someone gets hurt, a client walks, or a system fails. In high-stakes moments, clarity beats collaboration every time.

Empowerment without boundaries isn’t leadership.
It’s negligence dressed up as philosophy.

Pattern 2: The Coaching Addiction

Coaching is powerful… when it’s appropriate.

But I see supervisors who hide behind coaching questions to avoid making decisions:

• “What’s your take?”

• “How would you approach this?”

• “What feels right to you?”

Meanwhile, the team is thinking:

Just tell us what to do.

Sometimes your people don’t need development.
They need direction.

Being constantly coached when you’re under pressure is exhausting. It creates uncertainty, not growth. And over time, teams stop trusting leaders who won’t step into authority when it’s required.

Coaching becomes avoidance when decisiveness is needed.

Pattern 3: Vision Without Execution

This one is subtle and deadly.

The supervisor inspires.
They cast vision.
They talk about values, ownership, and the bigger picture.

But no one manages the details.

Deadlines slip.
Standards blur.
Accountability disappears.

The gap between “empowered” and “abandoned” is razor-thin.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth your team may never say out loud:
Sometimes they wish you’d just tell them what to do.

Reality check:

Your team doesn’t need another TED Talk.
They need clear expectations, immediate feedback, and someone willing to step in when things go sideways.

When Managing Is Leading

Here’s what the leadership industry won’t tell you:

There are specific situations where management isn’t just appropriate—it’s essential.

High Stakes + Short Timeline = Management Mode

System failures. Safety violations. Client emergencies.
In these moments, your team doesn’t need collaborative exploration.
They need decisive action.

Example markers:
— You don’t have time to workshop options
— The cost of delay is real and immediate
— Someone must own the call

New Team Members = Management Mode

People learning new skills don’t need empowerment first.
They need structure.

Clear expectations aren’t controlling—they’re kindness.
Standards create safety.

Example markers:
— “Just tell me what right looks like”
— Repeated mistakes from lack of clarity
— Anxiety caused by ambiguity

Performance Issues = Management Mode (First)

Before development comes correction.

Sometimes “giving room to grow” is just avoiding a hard conversation.
Direct feedback isn’t unkind.
It’s honest.

Example markers:
— Missed commitments
— Repeated behaviors
— Impact on the rest of the team

“The courage to manage when others expect you to lead is often the most leadership thing you can do.”

Why We Got Here—And How to Get Out

The leadership industry unintentionally created a false choice.
They made management a dirty word.
They sold complexity when people needed clarity.

But the answer isn’t going backward.

The solution is situational fluency.

Not management or leadership, but the ability to read what the moment requires and respond accordingly.

That means shifting:

• From identity (“I’m a leader, not a manager”)

• To effectiveness (“What does this situation need?”)

From ideology
to results.

From what feels good
to what actually serves your people.

The Both/And Approach

The most effective supervisors I work with don’t choose between managing and leading.

They flex.

Sometimes in the same conversation, they’re:

• Managing the immediate crisis while leading people through uncertainty

• Leading the vision while managing execution details

• Managing performance issues while leading personal development

Before every interaction, they ask a different question:

“What does this situation actually require from me right now?”

Not:

• “What would a leader do?”

• “How do I avoid micromanaging?”

But:

• “What do my people need to succeed in this moment?”

That question changes everything.

It frees you from labels.
It grounds you in responsibility.
And it builds trust, because your team feels supported and guided. Stop Apologizing for Managing

Stop Apologizing for Managing

This week, do something radical.

Manage something unapologetically.

• Step in and solve the problem that’s been lingering

• Give direct instruction instead of another coaching question

• Make the decision your team is waiting for

• Provide the structure someone clearly needs

Then notice what happens.

My prediction?
Your team won’t feel micromanaged.
They’ll feel relieved.

You don’t have to choose between being a respected leader and an effective manager.
You can be both.
You should be both.

The leadership industry doesn’t naturally give you permission to manage.

But I will.

Go manage something today.
Your team is waiting.

If this resonated, it’s because you’re living this tension, not theorizing about it.

If you’re:

• A podcast host looking for a guest who challenges leadership myths with real-world clarity

• An event organizer who wants a keynote that actually changes how leaders behave on Monday

• Or an organization ready to develop supervisors who know when to lead and when to manage

Click above and let’s talk.

This is the core work behind my upcoming book, Lead. Manage. WIN! and the foundation of my coaching and keynote work with organizations who want results, not slogans.